Ah, I say when will this global warming thing finally benefit me. I have grown tired of snow, the possibility of snow, cold, ice, sleet, freezing rain, and all other hellish wonders of nature...

When will it all end? I am sick and tired of having a yard full of leaves and yet I own no trees. I have grown weary of living under government imposed parking restrictions for half the year so that the Plows of the Apocalypse can pile feet of snow in the spaces were I could park if the government had not imposed its wishes upon where I should park...

I know in the very pit of my soul - the deepest, darkest core of my existence - that Hell is a Marshmallow Fluf wonderland of vanillany evil. And that this is where my life and all those who surround me and all creatures great and small will spend the next fours months...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be the Word...