The Quagmire of my Discontent: The Apocalypse of WeeSaul - Abondon all hope, ye who enter here!!!

Got to do what you got to do
It's itching to conquer and take you
Itching to make a mistake out of you
It's a blessing and a curse
I wish it didn't hurt so much...

And now I sit typing about all that swirls about in my brain. There is so much information that I need to sift through, so many disjointed ideas that need to come together in some form that can be understood by all who take the time to stop at this far off corner of CyberSpace. How can I take the lifetime of accumulated experiences and present them to the known universe in the time that I have been given?

There is so much to do, so much to say that needs to be said, so many things that I need to do, but today I will return to the front porch and enjoy the time remaining in this day to enjoy the world that presents its self before me. I do not think that one ray of sunshine has hit the ground today outside of my observation deck - the clouds keep rolling in, a steady stream of gray that has been going on since yesterday. For being one week from the official beginning of summer, it is remarkably cool in comparison to the beginning of the week...

I sit and look out upon all the green that surrounds me, and I wonder what it must have been like during the last Ice Age when my surrounding would have been buried deep under a glacier. Was it a landscape of sterile white or were there creatures that lived upon the surface giving the world a feeling of activity? All that I see before me was not here; it was hidden from view by a blanket of white. Ten thousand years is not a long time in terms of the universe, but a lot can happen during that span...

And I sit and I wonder about everything and nothing. Where do I fit in the Grande Scheme of everything? For what reason do I inhabit this realm of existence? I know and yet I do not know. The vision of St. Matthew I had still flood my brain with so many questions that I do not have the answers for. "It is up to you to save the people." Save them in what way? Save them from what?

I can think of all the possibilities of all the dilemmas that I face each and everyday, but for now, I will just sit and bang away on my eight year old laptop and enjoy all that I can see and hear...

I can hear the sounds of the children playing in the neighbourhood. I can smell the smell of the wind that seems to be saying that rain is on its way. I can watch down the street as a fellow traveler in this space and time walks her ferret upon the asphalt that runs in front of the porch where I find myself. I can hear the birds, so many birds, as they call to one another. I can hear the distant roar of the traffic so far off in the distance. I can feel that for a day so close to the beginning of summer, it is remarkably cool. I can see a small child in the cul-de-sac throwing stones up into the air and diving out of the way as they fall back to earth. I can and yet I cannot imagine my surrounds buried beneath a mountain of ice. I can be sitting here on my front porch, and yet being a million miles away from it all...

It is interesting to be fully aware of one's surroundings and at the same time being completely detached from the very same world...

Maybe as my vacation continues, I should seriously consider rename this Blog "A View from the Front Porch." But I know that I will never rename this Blog for it is all part of my quagmire of discontent - that need to do everything and all things that I feel need to be done. This is but another footprint in the sands of time that I can never retrace, another footprint on my journey to my ultimate destination...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...