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weesaul
The Quagmire of my Discontent: The Apocalypse of WeeSaul - Abondon all hope, ye who enter here!!!
 
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More Thoughts on Stuff...

And what are my thoughts on stuff? Being that I have a routine that I try my best to stick to, I find that I have few new experiences to tell the world…

 

Since my last post…

 

I have worked and worked for that is what I do – generally in the 50 to 60 hour per week range. The work of a supervisor in the Workplace of Despair is a never-ending battle against the forces of evil, at least in my position as the middleman betwixt engineering and the shop: engineering – the land where we can do no wrong and the shop – the land where doing more with less is not a slogan, it is a way of life with less people, less machines, less tooling though it is the only part of the company that runs 24 hours per day 7 days a week even most holidays. For the curious, I did work Thanksgiving morning for there was much to be thankful for, Veterans Day (Remembrance Day for those of you who happen to not be from ‘round these parts) for I am a veteran of these many wars in the trenches, Labour Day for it was a celebration of labour, and I could ramble on back into the past though I think by now you get the point. And, and that’s a big AND, I will work Christmas and New Year’s Eve plus New Year’s Day though I shall not work Christmas Day. I just won’t do it…

 

As nice as my wee li’l tablet/laptop combination thingie is, I am a bit rough upon such with excessive amounts of time I spend upon such in various locations across this great land. The screen though it had tablet functionability at one point in time, no longer functions as such though it does have a purdy HD screen. The home button on this here keyboard is no longer attached to the keyboard and refuses to become reattached. The battery is becoming a bit quirky in regards to when it decides that is no longer going to hold a charge. At this point in time whence it reaches 20% full, it will drop to 0 within approximately 1 minute. So the first major purchase that is not a necessity for my survival I shall make as a solitary abode resident will be to replace this here contraption with something of similar functionality…

 

I have far too much stuff and the move is not even close to being completed. I have been sorting in my two months of this Grand Experiment, dumpsterizing some, donating some, giving away some, and keeping that which I have chosen to keep for whatever reason. And I still have too much stuff. At some point I will need to rent an abode for the stuff that I wish to keep though no longer have the room for at this time…

 

I have a television and yet I have no television. My humble abode contains the physical manifestations of a television and yet its dreams do not flash before my eyes. Two months in and I find that I do not miss these visual intrusions into my life. It is quite possible that the major and minor networks that consumed my brain cells for most of my life have lost one of their disciples. I have a feeling that this object of my former affection will either be given away or will end up as a larger display for my laptop or my desktop if I choose to retrieve it from its current location…

 

For the most part I still need to retrieve about a half tonne of books, my tools, and my mountain bike. The books are by far the easiest of my problems to deal with. Being I am a geek in many regards other than vocation, I know many avid readers and these will find a good home. The tools I have accumulated over the years will be much harder to deal with for many of which I wish to keep on the offhand chance that I choose to purchase a homestead again so most will end up residing with the overflow stuff I possess. As for the mountain bike, well, I just do not know what its fate will be. Would I like to keep it? Indeed I would for it was a bit pricey and was exactly what I wanted. If I keep it, where will I store it whence not in use? Leave it to weather in the great out of doors? Won’t happen. Find a home for it in my bedroom/dining room/living room/study/kitchen? If you have not been paying close attention, I have too much stuff and there is no room in my everything multipurpose room. Do I store it with all the other too much stuff for which I do not have the space? That I cannot answer at this time…

 

Once the van I currently drive is finally in my name, which is a process that is taking far longer than it should for it is quite possible that someone is being a bit spiteful when it comes to what I am expecting in return for my eviction, I will be purchasing a vehicle that more closely represents me as a human, and not a minivan type vehicle that I have been driving far too many years through various incarnations and styles and colour combinations. The last vehicle that I was able to choose went to the great beyond during the winter of ’93. I know it seems rather minor, but it does bother me that all the vehicles I have driven in that last 23 years were all picked by her and what she could drive in regards to size, power, and styling…

 

And it was always what she wanted and not a team effort as it should have been. And maybe in ways some of it is my fault for not voicing my opinion more strongly or putting my foot down in certain situations. And maybe in the back of my mind I felt that giving her what she wanted would keep her happy, which was not the case at all. ‘Tis why I am not at all upset about losing the house, which she picked and not at all what I was looking for…

 

At some point in the near future I will give the entire timeline of events that lead to the end. Yeppers, there is a timeline with very specific events on the road to that which once was. So specific in fact that I knew what was coming before it happened though I refused to believe my conclusions. And doubt in my own judgement is one of my greatest flaws and would have saved me much grief over the years. I am my own worst enemy in many regards…

 

And as the last drops of my second cup of Starbucks cool silently at the bottom of the cup, the ramblings of a man who is alone sitting amongst those that are all alone though not wishing to be alone shall come to an end for there are only so many words that can pour forth from my soul per any given cup of coffee…

 
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Thoughts on Stuff...

Two months into this grand experiment in living alone, I have made a few interesting observations about myself. The one that I find most startling is that whence it is time for grocery shopping it is time for grocery shopping. I did not know that I was very good at planning the meals required for X amount of days and getting only that amount of food. Tonight is grocery night and I currently have two cans of soup, a couple of frozen burritos and a bit of ice cream in the new digs – other than the freezer, the refrigerator is completely barren. As of this time, there has been no waste, no food needing disposed of, no science experiments bringing forth new lifeforms…

 

Surprising Revelation Number Two: I actually do prefer buying dryer sheets than going without. It is truly remarkable the difference betwixt with and without. These are truly miracles of modern science and should be distributed freely by this here government. Thinking upon the subject of the laundry, my clothes ‘dirties’ were hidden from me for about two weeks prior to my eviction. ‘Tis in my humble opinion a wee bit of a spiteful thing to do knowing what she knew and what I did not, but I recovered nicely and now I have far too many clothes that are clean, soft, and fresh smelling…

 

Surprising Revelation Number Three: I find that I have no more free-time than I had before. I still have not enough time to do all I wish to do during the day. I still run almost late for everything, everywhere. Being I am the only responsibility I have, I still have not mastered time management – maybe I never will no matter the situation I find myself in. There are just not enough hours in any given day for me to accomplish all that I wish to accomplish. Curse you, Planet Earth, and your rotation!

 

Surprising Revelation Number Four: the kiddoes are surprisingly more well-adjusted than I could ever imagine. The one thing I can be truly proud of in my existence is the fact that I did a far better job parenting than I ever gave myself credit for, which does not surprise me at all for I am my own worst critic. (And not so surprisingly ye olde feeble brain could not even to save its life figure out how to spell the word ‘critic’ )…

 

And lastly I know where I stand with family members. Some reactions were not surprising at all and were expected. Some caught me off guard in positive or negative ways. Some folks deserve multiple hugs, whilst others deserve to be punched… repeatedly…

 

At some point I will bang out the what-happeneds upon this here keyboard, but this is not that time for the wounds have not healed and are still a bit infected and oozing pus upon my existence…

No sinners - confession
 
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Laundrageddon...

And so begins the slow descent into madness…

 

It is very difficult for me to express my feelings when I have absolutely no idea how I am feeling at the moment. The world has changed and I have changed; and from here, there is no turning back – only forward toward an end that I am fully aware of and yet have no reason to stop it from happening. It is what it is, and in some ways, it is what I have known all along in this existence…

 

A life alone on my own terms, a life where I set my own schedule, do what I want when I want, a life doing laundry at the Laundromat at the End of Time…

 

And for the fact that I must seem more respectable than the other laundromat residents, I am questioned about the operation of this establishment. Where’s this? Where’s that? What are the hours of operation? Why me? Why am I the chosen one? What makes me special in the world of laundromat inhabitants? Can’t I just be left in peace so I may go about my business?

 

And around and around the wheels of life turn much as the dirty clothes in the belly of the gleaming stainless steel beast. Around and around go the hands of time as I sit here and am questioned about things for which I have no answers and if I did have an answer it is for a question that need not be asked of me – the King of the Laundromat…

 

Around and around much as this planet around the sun, the sun around the galaxy, the galaxy around the universe, the universe around whatever is beyond. Around and around like my thoughts on all things and of nothing. Spinning, ever spinning, around and around for nothing is ever truly at rest such as my mind – always in motion, never ending circles upon circles upon circles, never ending…

 

And when I am placed with the earth and my days as a human have ended, I shall still be going around and around. I shall never truly come to rest even after I am laid to rest for rest is but a figment of a delusional mind thinking it has control over the situation. The mind cannot deal with the reality that there is absolutely nothing that the mind has control over – nothing, nada, not one single thing…

 

And so I sit pondering the universe whilst sitting in the Laundromat at the End of Eternity, watching the clothing go around whilst everything else goes around…

 

Circles within circles…

No sinners - confession
 
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Musings on a rainy day in a coffeeshop...

It has been quite a long time, a very long time in fact, since I last spent my free time in a coffee shop. Being amongst my people – the lonely who wish to be out amongst their kind and yet still be absolutely alone. For the most part this holds true for a good 75% of all tables regardless of size are occupied by a lone soul. Each drinking their coffee or latte or some such pondering the inner workings of this existence. Is this the pinnacle of evolution? Has mankind reached its zenith? 


I do not know for I do not understand all that surrounds me and the whys and whatfores of what I have become and what I continue to evolve into. I do not have the basic cognitive skills to formulate any conclusions that satisfy my feeble mind. I exist and I shall exist until I no longer do so ‘tis the only truth I know…


For those of you who do not know me personally – those who I have seen, touched, breathed from the same air, smelled the same smells; which would probably include everyone who will ever read these words – there have been many changes as of late. Changes in residence, changes in relationship status, changes in the seasons, changes in the world, changes that are neither good nor bad just different than what they had been on a brief time ago…


And so I go on as I ramble on about nothing in particular whilst sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by lonely people who wish to be amongst their kind, finding solidarity in the fact that they are amongst kindred spirits though never once acknowledging these like-minded individuals…


And so I shall continue my day and do all that I must do – shop alone, eat alone, return to my new abode alone, wake up in the morning and be alone. And yet I will survive, I will carry on, I will continue until a time whence this fragile meat puppet no longer continues… 
 

 
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Journey to Disney, 2016 Edition, Part 1(?)

The time is drawing near whence all the innocents will enter the belly of the steel dragon. And all are sitting patiently for the moment to arrive – no tears, no yelling or screaming, no fighting to change the fate that all know will surely come at any minute. All just sit and wait…

 

Getting closer and closer to the feeding of the dragon and more and more sacrificial victims arrive and wait. The wait is the worst part filled idle chat, countless puzzles, pointless pacing about. Though with advances in technology, portable electronic communication devices are also employed by the masses for various mundane tasks such as saying goodbye to loved ones, playing mindless games or telling the tale of all that is to come…

 

Closer and closer and the closer the moment gets, the slower that time passes by – seconds dragging into minutes, minutes to hours. Drag on awaiting the dragon. On and on as time comes to a standstill for time travel is possible, but only in reverse…

 

Delta – the variable of change and a change is going to come as these fine folks enter the mouth of the dragon only to be spit out at some distant point in the future. Packed into the intestines of the dragon as it roars skyward into the heavens, far beyond the reach of mere mortal men. Soaring above the clouds, nearly touching space. And all that can be heard is the panicked whispers of “Mennonites on the plane, Mennonites on the plane…”

 

Soaring far above the marshmallowy world below, a sea foam world as far as the eye can see in every direction. The earth as we had known it is gone. All that remains is the steel dragon with its belly full of food. Sucking the nutrients from the poor unfortunate souls that find themselves trapped in the stomach of the beast. Digesting its meal slowly, so slow that the changes to the lost souls cannot be seen, but all know what is happening as the bodies are slowly dissolved into nothingness. And yet there is no panic, no struggle to survive, just a quiet acceptance of one’s fate, a somber resignation of becoming dragon food…

 

And there are those amongst us who feed the dragon food to ensure that they are plump and juicy for the master of the skies. Eat, drink and be merry for soon you shall be consumed by the steel beast…

 

And my mind wanders to a simpler time. And through the deep dark nooks and crannies of my cranium plays ‘Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In’ – the Fifth Dimension version and not the original cast of Hair version. Now sing along with the Fifth Dimension, “Let the sunshine, let the sunshine in, the sunshine in (open up your heart and let it shine on in)…” And why this is I do not know, but it seems appropriate as we are slowly being digested by the metallic monster of the air…

 

I would have never imagined that it would take so very long to journey through the digestive tract, but it seems like an eternity slowly becoming the nutrients that keep the beast alive…

 

And now the momma dragon has regurgitated its human food into the mouth of the baby dragon, and the lowly human food is once again sent skyward. From above the cloud, nearly touch space, far beyond the reach of mere mortals who could, if they so desired, save the unfortunate from being slowly digested by this young beast…

 

Once again the earth has vanished far below as our bodies are absorbed by this mechanized monster. Slowly, ever so slowly, our very existence is being erased from the annals of history. But as we must perish, the creature shall get stronger; fly higher, grew more fierce, becoming the master of all its surroundings. And so as we pass, the next generation shall benefit from all that has come before just as that generation shall pass all they are unto the next generation and so on for this is the way of things. And so it shall be until the end of time. Amen…

 

Thank you for flying with us, and please return all trays to an upright position before exiting…

 

The End…

 

For now…

 

Maybe…

 
Leader Of the Blaspheming Hordes
SpaceTime Coordinates

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